Rating: PG
Fandom: CSI/West Wing
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ellie Bartlet
Feedback: Makes my day
Disclaimer: If it was in the show, it's not mine.
Archive: At my site Checkmate (http://helsinkibaby.ahkay.net) , Fanfiction.net; anywhere else, please ask.
Summary: Greg finds out something about Ellie.

It is Halloween of her freshman year before Ellie lets her secret slip, and she does so by accident. Not that it's entirely a secret, not really. There are people on campus who know what her father does for a living, like her roommate Ashley who, far from being the flake Ellie pegged her as during that first week, has proved to be a dab hand at covering for Ellie when her dad rings and she really doesn't want to talk to him. Her closest friends, Shelley and Kim, both of whom share most of her classes, also know, and she thinks there are a smattering of other people too.

Other people, but not Greg.

She doesn't really know why she hasn't told him, because she's told him pretty much everything else about her family. The subject of her father's job has just never come up she tells herself, but she's honest enough to admit that she's rather adept at steering the conversation away from such matters; it's a skill that served her well in a New Hampshire high school when she didn't want to bear the tag of being the Governor's daughter. Except she still bore that tag, it didn't matter what she did, everywhere she went, she was always her father's daughter.

That's why she chose Stanford, above Harvard and Yale and the blessed Notre Dame, something that she's sure broke her dad's heart, another thing for him to be annoyed at her over, that's what a little voice inside her points out. But she wanted to get away from being Jed Bartlet's girl, wanted to go to a place where no-one knew her family name, where she wasn't measured by such a formidable yardstick, and she knows she's found that here.

And when she's with Greg, when she's talking with him, when they're laughing together, she doesn't feel like the Eleanor Emily Bartlet who was so quiet in high school, who cowers under her father's gaze and shadow, who stutters and stammers when in his presence. She is Ellie, and she is funny and witty and people like spending time with her, people want to be with her because of who she is, not who her father is.

She likes Ellie, likes the person she is becoming, and there's a part of her that's very afraid that if her friends find out who her father is that they might treat her differently. She tells herself that that's unlikely, but she's just as afraid that she herself might end up acting differently, might turn back into that scared little shadow-Ellie, and she doesn't want that.

So she continues steering the conversation away from her parents and no-one is any the wiser.

By Halloween, she is having the time of her life at college. She and Ashley get on well, when their schedules manage to collide, and Kim and Shelley are almost like sisters to her. But it's Greg whose friendship surprises her, because she never would have thought that someone like her could hold his attention, a guy who's wild and crazy, who doesn't care what people think about him. He's the exact opposite of any guy she's ever been friends with, and she relishes the experience.

They are just friends though, despite whatever he might have had in mind when he struck up a conversation with her that day in the dining hall, when he invited her to the party his frat house were throwing that night. She went, brought Shelley and Kim along, but she'd spent most of the night with Greg. They'd had a ball, dancing all night, talking until nearly dawn, long after everyone else had gone to bed. He'd walked her back to her dorm under the pale dawn sky, still talking though they were both almost hoarse, and she'd wondered if he would kiss her. There had been a moment where she'd thought he was considering it, but then he just shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, gave her that cheeky grin of his that she was already learning to recognise, wished her good morning and walked away.

She'd watched him go, wishing that things had ended differently, but only for a moment. Eleanor Bartlet was used to dealing with disappointment, was adept at looking on the bright side, and she told herself that she was getting a great friend and she should be happy with that.

Most of the time, she manages to convince herself that that's true, even if the girls do look at her sometimes and she knows what they're thinking. They say it to her sometimes too, wonder if there's something going on, but she denies it, and they don't push her.

Which again, is something novel for her, because her father pushes her all the time from clear across the country. Which is what is on her mind as she finds Shelley and Kim sitting in the lobby of the dorm, while some hard-working volunteers put up Halloween decorations. There is a big party at the Phi Beta Kappa house tonight, and they're all going, are supposed to be finalising details of their costumes, or at least, that's the plan until Ellie arrives, late, cheeks flushed with annoyance. "Sorry I'm late," she says, trying to smile, but the other two already know her too well to let her away with that.

"Who rattled your cage?" Kim asks, tucking a strand of long black hair behind one ear. The first time Ellie had seen her, she'd been reminded strongly of her sister Liz, at least until Kim opened her mouth, her strong Texas accent setting her apart in Ellie's mind. She's like Liz in temperament though, lovely girl, very patient and understanding, but when she gets into a tearing temper, you don't want to be anywhere near her.

Of course, people have said that about Ellie too, and she takes a deep breath, counts to ten before she says anything. That leaves Shelley free to speak up with a guess of her own. "There's only two things that can get a girl that hot and bothered," she drawls. "A man, or her parents. And since you don't have a man…"

"It must be a call from Daddy dearest," Kim concludes, and Ellie laughs despite herself. This is what she's never had in New Hampshire, where the name Jed Bartlet is considered almost holy. "But he's so nice" "so funny" "so sweet" were invariably the comments that she got any time she mentioned her father, and she'd long since learned that it was pointless to try to convince anyone any different. Here though, Kim and Shelley had no idea who he was, had only seen him in family pictures in her room, and they took her part without question. It made a nice change.

"How is it," she wonders now. "That I can be eighteen years of age, living away from home, doing well in my classes, but that man still makes me feel like I'm five years old?"

Kim lays a comforting hand on Ellie's shoulder. "That's fathers for you," she says. "Though I'd take your dad over my mom any day."

"Anything in particular?" Shelley asks. "Or is it just the usual?"

Ellie rolls her eyes. "He wants me to come home for Thanksgiving," she says simply. The other two girls look blankly at her, and she looks down at her book bag, becoming very interested in a loose thread there. "I was thinking of hanging around here…" she says quietly, and from the silence that follows, she knows they don't know what to say.

When she looks up again, both of them are staring at her. "Honey, are things that bad?" Kim asks, leaning forward, worry etched on her features.

"No, no," Ellie says quickly, because they're not bad. She's just had a taste of freedom the past few weeks and she doesn't want to let it go. "It's not bad… I mean, I probably wouldn't even see him that much. It's just…" She shakes her head, trying to explain. "You have no idea of the hoop-la that goes into a Thanksgiving with our family. Dad insists on doing the cooking himself. Or standing over whoever's doing it. And all the while, he's regaling you with useless trivia… and there are people everywhere, well-wishers turning up at the door, photographers wanting to take pictures… and he was talking about having some kind of reception at the mansion…" Compared to Stanford, it's her idea of hell on earth, and she's really reluctant to go back.

"A mansion?"

Kim opens her mouth to say something, but her voice sounds suspiciously like Greg's, as it should, since it's Greg who does the talking, as Ellie discovers when she turns around quickly to see him and John standing there, evidently having heard every word of her speech. She's aware of Kim and Shelley out of the corner of her eye, sees the grins they're hiding, and she knows they're not going to be any help. John looks confused, and Greg looks curious, is wearing that look that he gets when he sees a female across the room that he might be interested in, the look that says he's not going to give up until he gets what he's after.

"I thought your family owned a farm," he continued, and Ellie nods.

"We do… but we don't live there most of the time."

"So you have a farm, but you live in a mansion?" He sounds like he's checking that he has it right, and when she nods again, he continues with, "Seriously?" She nods again, and he sits down on the back of the couch, right behind her. "Are your family, like, rich or something?"

Ellie shifts uncomfortably. "Kind of," she admits. Off Greg's raised eyebrow, she relents, adding, "It comes with my dad's job."

"His job? What kind of job comes with a mansion?"

Knowing that there's no escape, Ellie takes a deep breath, squares her shoulders. "Governor of New Hampshire."

Greg blinks, his jaw falling open, and Ellie realises that this is the first time she's ever seen him speechless. In a way, it's a shame it had to happen over something she's so uncomfortable with, because otherwise, she'd really be enjoying this moment. It happens all too rarely. Greg gapes at her for a long moment, then looks at Kim and Shelley as if for confirmation, which he receives with two slow nods. "She's serious?" he asks them, gets two more similar nods. "Your dad's the governor of New Hampshire?"

"Josiah Bartlet," she confirms, and, with the air of one who's decided she's going to get everything out in the open, she adds, "PhD, graduate of the London School of Economics, winner of the Nobel Prize for Economics."

Greg's jaw opens just a little bit wider, while beside him, John, silent until now, emits a low whistle. "Shit," he murmurs, and the genuine amazement makes Ellie laugh. "Isn't your mom some kind of doctor too?" John wants to know, and Ellie brightens, because she and her mother have a very different kind of relationship.

"She's a cardio-thoracic surgeon," she confirms, and John laughs, slapping Greg on the shoulder.

"Man, no wonder this chick's so brainy!" he says, and Ellie raises an eyebrow, knowing that Shelley and Kim are doing likewise.

"Chick?" All three utter the word simultaneously, with equal amounts of contempt, and John, quickly realising his mistake, holds up his hands in mock surrender.

"Figure of speech," he demurs, inclining his head towards Ellie, bending low in a courtly bow for good measure. "I meant it only as a compliment m'lady," he says when he straightens up, grabbing Ellie's hand and kissing it for good measure, and she rolls her eyes, her earlier discomfort forgotten.

"You're forgiven," she says, glancing at Greg, frowning slightly, because it's not like him to be so quiet.

"You could at least have helped me out man," John says, punching him none-too-gently in the shoulder, and that seems to be the wake-up call he needed, because he's back to himself then, asking a question about the Halloween party and their costumes, and within minutes, it's as if the whole revelatory conversation never happened.

Except that sometimes Ellie feels his eyes on her, and she wonders what he's thinking.

She doesn't find out until later on in the night, when the party is in fully swing all around them. Ellie is here as a doctor with Kim, positively mummified in bandages, as her patient, while Shelley is a witch, complete with pointed hat. They are enjoying themselves, laughing and dancing, even if an inordinate amount of people have approached Kim with real concern in their eyes, asking her what happened to her. She's tired of saying "Nothing" by now, has run out of patience, so is proving her point by cutting up a rug with John, while Kim has found another of Greg's frat brothers to dance with. Ellie's not much of a dancer though, so she's standing by the punch bowl, sipping a drink, and she starts a little when she feels a hand on her arm. She starts again when she sees a mad scientist standing beside her, smiling when she realises that it is Greg, her smile quickly fading when she sees the veiled look in his eyes. "Can we talk?" he asks hesitantly, and when she nods, he tilts his head towards the door. "Out here."

She swallows hard, lays down her glass and follows him out. They sit down on the steps leading up to the frat house, and for a few moments, the only sounds are the noise of the party inside, the quiet murmurings of couples who went outside earlier, for pursuits far more amorous than hers and Greg's, and the beating of her own heart, thumping in her chest.

The longer the silence goes on, the more nervous she gets, because this is Greg she's with, and he's never speechless, ever. She tilts her head back, looks up at the stars, and despite herself, she smiles. "I'm never going to get used to this," she tells him, wrapping her arms around herself. "It's Halloween, and we're able to sit out like this without coats and hats…"

"Can't do this at the mansion huh?" he asks, and she looks down, stung, at the bitterness in his voice. She swallows hard, hears him sigh heavily before speaking again. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have said that."

She smiles, but there's no humour in it. "I deserve it," she tells him quietly. "I should have told you ages ago… I know that…"

"I know you and your dad don't get along," he interrupted. "I mean, every time he's mentioned, you get this look on your face, you change the subject… I've never asked you about that, I figure it's your business, you'll tell me if you want to." He stops then, shakes his head, looks away from her, up to the stars above them. "I just… I don't know why you wouldn't tell me…"

His voice trails off, and it takes Ellie a long time to answer him. "Remember the first time we met?" she asks, and that makes him turn his head to her in a hurry. "In the cafeteria?" she prompts and he nods slowly, but she can tell that he doesn’t understand where he's going with that. "You said that you'd been accepted to Harvard and Yale and all the big Eastern schools… you just didn't go there because you couldn’t face those winters." He chuckles, as he nods, but he doesn't say anything, lets her continue. "I was accepted to all those places too… but the one place my dad really wanted me to go was Notre Dame. That was his alma mater, my mom's too… they met there. My sister Liz went there… I could have carried on the family tradition."

The fact that she didn't want to was met with mystification by her father, who couldn't understand why anyone would want to go anywhere else, and even her mother had been curious about why she'd pick Stanford over Notre Dame, although she'd supported Ellie's decision. "But you didn't," Greg says now, curiosity in his voice too, the question going unspoken.

"If I went to Notre Dame," she tells him quietly, "Then I'd be what I've been my whole life. Jed Bartlet's daughter. Liz's sister. One of the New Hampshire Bartlets. That's all I've ever been, and I'm so tired of it Greg…" She swallows then, shakes her head as she ducks it, her hair falling into her face, obscuring him from her peripheral vision. "I just wanted to be Ellie for a change, not the Governor's daughter… see what it felt like. That's why I came here, why I didn't tell anyone…"

"You told Kim and Shelley," he points out, and she can't argue with him.

"Because they've listened to me bitch about him for the last two months. And Ashley knows because she's had to cover for me when he's called… and I wanted to tell you Greg, I did." She chances a peek at him then, ducks her head again when she sees the confusion on his face.

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because I didn't know how to all of a sudden drop it into the conversation," she tells him honestly. Then, just as honestly, she adds, "And because people change when they know who my father is, they treat the governor's daughter differently…" The words sound hollow, even to her own ears, and she sighs, because she wouldn't buy this either. "I'm sorry," she finishes, and there's another long silence.

She's holding her breath, waiting for his reaction, and her breath releases in a gasp when she feels her hair being pushed back, and she turns her head sharply to him. Their eyes meet, his fingers lingering on her cheeks, and for a moment, she can't breathe. Then he grins, that cocky grin of his that's had her heart going double time since day one, the fingers on her cheek moving so that his hand goes around her shoulders and he pulls her into a hug. "Dope," he says without malice, and she smiles.

"It made sense at the time," she counters, and she feels, as well as hears, him chuckle.

"For the record," he tells her, pulling away from her so that he can look down at her. "I don't care about the Governor's daughter or Liz's sister… I do, however, think that Ellie's pretty great… and I'm glad she's my friend."

She will not, Ellie resolves, burst into tears. She refuses, if for no other reason than he'd never let her hear the end of it.

The impulse to cry is replaced by one to laugh when Greg continues, eyes narrowed suspiciously, "There's nothing else I should know though, right? No husbands lurking in your past, no kids hiding under the bed…"

She goes with that impulse, laughing as she straightens up, swats his shoulder. "Nope… that's pretty much it."

He nods, squeezes her shoulder again. "I can handle that."

He sounds like he means it, and she wants to believe it, but Ellie can't believe that things could be that simple, runs through everything he's just said, looking for the loophole. She can't find it though, so she asks him, just to make sure. "So we're ok?"

That grin of his is back on his face, and he stands, holding out a hand to her. She takes it, and he squeezes hers. "Always," he says, and side by side, they make their way back in to the party.

Back to The Pieces of my Life
Back to Checkmate