Cards on the Table
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis/Stargate SG1
Pairing: Carson
Beckett/Janet Fraiser
Rating: PG
Spoilers: SG1 Meridian
missing scene
Word
Count: 720
“Who’s there?”
The voice coming from the swath of bandages
on the bed makes Carson
jump, and he turns quickly towards the sound, laying down the chart he’d been
writing on, walking over to the bed.
“It’s me, Doctor Jackson,” he says. “Dr
Beckett… Carson.”
He adds the last almost as an afterthought, though it’s hardly necessary. After
all, there aren’t too many Scots running around the SGC, and besides, Daniel
knows him, has been treated by him, bandaged up by him, has even met him
outside of work.
“Ah,” Daniel says, and despite the meds
that Carson has just administered, despite the
amount of pain he must be in, Carson
thinks he sounds almost amused. “Janet’s… friend.”
The deliberate pause he takes causes Carson’s cheeks to flush,
and he looks around to make sure that they’re alone. “Aye,” he says when he’s
sure they are. “That would be me.”
“You here to check up on me?” Daniel’s
voice has lost its humour, but is still faintly mocking. “Or to finish me off?”
Carson frowns. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, Doctor,” he says, and
there’s a huff from beneath the bandages.
“You’ve never really liked me.” It’s a
curiously matter-of-fact statement, a little too close to the bone for comfort,
and Carson
shifts uncomfortably on his feet. “You’ve always been jealous… of me and
Janet.” Carson
says nothing, and impatience creeps into Daniel’s tone. “I’m dying, Carson… you can be honest
with me.”
Knowing it to be true, Carson sighs. “And what if I have?” he asks,
keeping his voice low. People have been coming in and out of here all day, and
while most people know about him and Janet, there’s no sense in broadcasting
the minutiae of their relationship. “You must admit… I know well what a man in
love with Janet Fraiser looks like.”
“Janet and I are friends,” Daniel tells
him, his voice weary, the sentence punctuated by a cough. Carson’s eyes fly automatically to the
machines beside the bed, noting the flickering lines, working out what they
mean, trying to see if he should call Janet. They calm down quickly, so he says
nothing, waits for Daniel to speak again. “Never more…”
“Nay for the want of wishin’ though,” Carson notes, and he
hears Daniel sigh in response.
“That doesn’t matter,” he says quietly, so
quietly that, if it weren’t for the absolute silence in the room, Carson wouldn’t be able to
hear him. “It’s only ever been you she sees.”
Which is something Carson’s always known. He’s just never quite
been able to believe it, that’s all, not when he sees and hears every damn
nurse in the infirmary swooning over Daniel Jackson on a daily basis.
“I’m dying.”
The words bring him back to reality, the
proverbial bucket of cold water, and all Carson
can do is nod. “Aye,” he says, remembering that Daniel can’t see him. “I know.”
“You’ll take care of her, right?” The
sentence ends on another rough of racking coughs, and when they finally
subside, Daniel’s voice is hoarse, almost gone. “Her… and Cassie?”
Carson looks heavenward, mentally taking back and apologising for every
scrap of jealousy, every negative thought he’s ever entertained about this man.
“Aye,” he says, laying a careful hand on Daniel’s shoulder. “Always… you’ve no
worries there, man…”
“Good…” The word is a sigh, followed by
silence, and from studying the machine readouts, Carson knows that Daniel is asleep, the
latest round of medication finally working its magic.
Carson knows that he should leave, knows that there is work to be done, a
CMO to report to. Instead, he takes a moment to stand over Daniel’s bed, to
consider what’s just been said, as well as missed opportunities, because in
another time and place, they could easily have been friends. “You’re some man,
Doctor Jackson,” he admits without a hint of begrudgery, and the words are
easier to say than he ever would have believed. “And I’ll do that for you… for
both of us… I promise.”
Nodding, he lingers a moment longer, saying
a silent prayer he only vaguely remembers from childhood, hoping that the
Almighty will forgive the missed words and reward the intent.
Then, turning, he makes his final note on
Daniel’s chart and goes in search of Janet.
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