An Honest Man
Pairing: Tony/Rita
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Everything up to what’s been shown so far.
Summary: Tony’s always considered himself an honest man.
Notes: For the LiveJournal MultiFandom1000 “Lies” challenge.
Tony’s always
considered himself a good man, an honest man. He’s never been the kind of man
who lies, but since he’s known Rita Ortiz, it seems lies are all around him.
He met her
at John Flaherty’s retirement racket, felt instantly something that he hadn’t
felt since his train-wreck of a marriage. He talked to her, just small talk,
nothing heavy, but something heavy had still settled at the bottom of his
stomach when her husband, an AD he’d known for years, had arrived to spirit her
away, introduce her to some other people. He’d lied to himself then, told
himself that he wasn’t really interested in her, that she was just a nice
woman, that there was nothing more there.
He’d kept
telling himself that when Don had arrived into his office, hinting that Rita
was looking for a transfer out of vice, wondering if Tony had any openings.
Tony had lied to him, told him that he barely remembered Rita, but that he’d
call if anything opened up. He’d had no intention of doing so, but in one of
those cosmic twists of fate, a position had opened up, and, honest man that he
was, he kept his word.
That was
when things started to get crazy.
Because Don
and Rita didn’t have the best of marriages, and when Don started making scenes
in the office, Tony called Rita into her office, asked her about it. She told
him that it was under control, which he knew was a lie, and she denied that Don
had ever laid a hand on her, which he suspected was a lie. And when their
marriage fell apart, when a few of them were in the bar having a drink, Don
showed up and made another scene, accusing him and Rita of having an affair.
It was a
lie of course, the drunken ramblings of a man who judged others by his own
standards, but the problem was that Don hadn’t kept his lies to himself, had
given the new IAB captain, Fraker, an excuse to put Tony on his radar screen.
He’d never told Rita that, had wondered to himself if he was being less than
honest with her, if she should know. But then Don had been killed and she’d
started dating John Clark, and he hadn’t seen the
point in dragging up old wounds, upsetting her. Better to leave the past in the
past.
Fraker
hadn’t thought that though, had made it his mission to make life hard for Tony.
Tony knew
he was above reproach, but he hadn’t been prepared for Fraker’s tactics,
getting a friend to set him up, getting him suspended. It had only been down to
Andy’s interference that the whole thing had gone
away, and he’d tried to forget about it, tried to put it behind him.
He’d been
ready to do that, but not so Fraker. He’d come after Tony and his squad again,
and when he hadn’t got anywhere, when he’d been disgraced, he’d come after
Tony, and he’d come with a gun.
If it
hadn’t been for Rita’s quick thinking and good marksmanship, Tony would be dead
right now, and as it was, it was a close thing. It was a close thing for Fraker
as well, but both of them had survived, with Fraker going on trial for
attempted murder.
Tony’s not
sure why he was surprised when Fraker pleaded not guilty, that he lied his ass off up there on the stand, that his attorney
made everyone from the Fifteenth Precinct out to be a liar, when they were the
ones who were telling the truth. But he was surprised, and he didn’t handle it
well, handled it alone, pushing everyone away when they tried to talk to him
about it.
Everyone, including and especially Rita.
She was the
one who best understood what he was going through, the one who was most closely
under investigation, even though the department had declared the shooting a good
one. She was the one who followed him, who walked with him, her mere company
offering solace, but only because she insisted, ignored him when he told her he
wanted to be alone.
It was a
lie of course, because what he really wanted to do was pull her close to him,
to lose himself in her and never let himself be found.
He’d
thought she hadn’t known, but she had, and tonight, the night after Fraker was
found not guilty, she’d come to his house. She’d refused to go away, had
waltzed in past him and made herself at home in his kitchen, pulling food out
of cupboards and making them dinner. Once he’d realised that he couldn’t stop
her, he’d just sat down, trying not to notice how nice this was, how she looked
like she belonged there, in his kitchen, in his house, with him.
That
worked, until they were in the middle of the washing-up, and she kissed him.
She kissed
him and he kissed her back, and if he’s been lying about her since he first met
her, now he is lying with her, naked bodies entwined, and he’s reached the
conclusion that she’s just about the only true thing that he’s got going in his
life right now. He doesn’t want to lose her, doesn’t want to lose this, but he
knows that he’s her boss, and that they absolutely shouldn’t be doing this.
When he
looks down at her, her eyes are looking up at him, dark and troubled, and he
knows she knows it too. “We shouldn’t be here,” she whispers, biting her lip,
and he can’t help himself, his hand cupping her chin, his thumb pulling her
lower lip free.
“Yes we
should,” he tells her, kissing her quickly before resting his head against
hers. “We’re going to be fine.”
He knows that could very well be a lie, but he’s going to do all he can to make it true.