Right so. It's a Bank Holiday here in Ireland, St Patrick's Day having been yesterday, but am I sleeping now? No Siree, it's twenty past eight in the morning and I arise from my bed to review skating that is supposed to start at half eight. Notice how I say supposed? That's because I checked the TV text, the internet and about 6 papers and they all said that it starts at half eight....so I turn on the tv at 20 past 8, just in time to see Berankova and Dlabola, pair number two, get their marks. I utter some rather choice phrases at that, before remembering that the rest of the house is following the great Irish tradition of the bank holiday lie-in, and shut myself up, before reflecting that it's too early to have to deal with Eurosport's shenanigans, and all this without so much as a bowl of Rice Krispies to tide me over....aaaaanyway.....

Zhang and Zhang CHN

Red tops for both, black skirt for her and trousers for him...Thrwo triple sal is fine, and right into toes....spins s/s are all over the place on the timing....striaght line step now....and messy little bit there....more steps around the place now...and into the lift...d/s..quite nice, nice arch to her back....stop and dance on centre ice...pairs spin....again, quite messy in places....the transition on the change of foot wasn't great.....around we go....huge split double twist to end. Simon praises the bits at the start and end, says shame about the middle...Chris says the timing the artistry and the lines in the spin need to be worked on, but they're technically very good....

marks 5.1-5.3...judges have gone with them says Simon.....4.7-5.1..3 1sts, but second to Berankova and Dlabola.

Viktoria Borzenkova and Andrei Chuvilyaev RUS
H'es 6ft 5 and a half....wearing shiny grey/brown top with sparkles, her skirt is red tassles, and he's got black pants...new short since euros...split 2twist to start, high and slow....as is he.....and she doulbes the toe...his was ok.....throw triple loop....round we go...lift....goes to one hadn but god they're slow.....s/s [airs spin....good timing....loses it a bit when I type that of course....straight line step...change of rhythm to go with it and Chris says it's good to see them selling the program...can't say as I've noticed....death spiral, nice and low to the ice....pairs spin....little bit of travel on the change and we're done. She did'nt get too high in the air actually on the twist...and in fact he doubles his toe as well.....hers was more obvious...

marks 4.3-4.8....4.5-5.0...4th place, one third one second.

Maria Krasiltseva and Artem Znachkov ARM

He's still wearing his oversized purple blouse...it really does need to be taken in...and shes in her black dress with the grey mottled bits stitched on....which really doesn't go along with his....I mean, come on people there's enough spare material on his shirt to make a dress for her, never mind make her stitch on things! 20th in Salt Lake....nice high double twist...she's a bit over toe on landing...he's down on the triple toe....she doubles....s/s spins...camel and they lose the timing....change camel to sit and they are all over the place....throwtriple sal and down she goes....very slow going into it....lift and once more thye are slow slow slow....straight line step....death spiral...nice position from her....and around they go for the piars spin....and he lifts her in it - is that allowed? Chris calls this a real struggle....they don't look too in tune coming off the ice either....he also says that they looked slow along the ice....and Chris says that the ending where he lifted her in the spin definitely wasn't planned....

marks 2.8-3.4....3.9-4.2...5th across the board.

Qing Pang and Jian Tong CHN

She's in white dress, his top is white and trousers are blue...Illumination the music....toes to start....made it look easy....throw huge throw triple sal and she flew in and out of it....wow! split double twist also huge....and fast....s/s spins....he's a bit ropey at the start but they get it back very very well....lift...and she smilesat him going into it.....this is a lovely program...pairs spin....death spiral.....and they're done. And that, my firends, THAT was worth getting up at eight o'clock on a bank holiday! Just lovely....it was a slow violin type piece and the choreography was great...feel of the music was perfect...and I could watch that throw all day...s/s spins were a long way apart ....

marks ...5.1-5.4...I notice that her hand is wrapped....5.1-5.4..and they're in the lead.

Mariana Kautz and Norman Jeschke GER

She's in her sparkley red number with the criss cross on the top and black skirt, and he's in sparkley red shirt and black trousers...Wild Thigns is the music....toes to start...and they both go clean if miles apart....split double twist...not as high as some we've seen....throw triple toe and it didn't look great at the start, the timing looked a little off? Lift....death spiral...takes a long time to get down into it and it wasn't exactly worth the wait....steps slide to stop....the pairs spin....s/s spins....slow slow slow....change and more slow...and they get closer together as they spin...not bad says Simon but unexciting...gee, ya think? She was leaning onthe s/s toesand thought about putting her hand down....but she didn't...he took off slightly before she did..

marks.... 4.2-4.8....4.5-5.0...5th place.

Marina Aganina and Artem Knyazev UZB
Not seen these before...pale blue dress for her, matching top for him and tan trousers...she's 16, he's 21...subs for Ponomareva and Sviridov, she skated on broken foot in SLC and had an operation....throw 2sal.....and they had no speed whatsoever going in...s/s 2ax and she singles her....s/s spins....btter timing....lost it a little on the change but got it back....and they kept themselves dead in line....split double twist no height and bumpy landing....lift...and she cannot get up, they got the timing all wrong....death spiral.....pairs spins....and steps and they're done. And not a hint of a smile from them... they were so slow....lift is painful to look at even on the slomo...

marks 2.5-3.7.. 3.5-4.4...8th overall but three 7ths.

and we have an ice resurface

Berankova and Dlabola

They reshow them! Yay! Red dress for her, black outfit for him...her leg is strapped as the birds sing on the music...either that or the dawn chorus is loud outside my window....s/s toes...clean....around we go....split doublenice height and nicely caught....throw triple sal....no problems there....lift...very nice.....steps..into the s/s spins...and they get really close to one another, pulling apart on teh change...death spiral....nice position and nice smile fomr her up at him....straight line steps....pairs spin....and they're done.

marks 4.4-5.0....5.0-5.4.

Tatiana Totmianina and Maxim Marinin RUS

Lilac lovelies, how are you doing? Although I will say that her dress and his outfit have nothing whatsoever to do with one another...Simon touts them as championship contenders....Star and Death the music....death spiral to start....very low to the ice....throw 3loop with a stuttery landing...but she held it....s/s toes...which are clean....perfectly timed....s/s spins....great timing....even on the change....split double twist...nicely done...lift....and it almost looked like his foot slipped a little but you'd have to be watching.....circular steps...into pairs spin....her in biellman for some of it...and they're done. And that was something else...strange ending Simon calls it, and it was a little behind the music, but they should certainly be in first place....technically they nailed everything, one slight question mark on the throw, but there was something lacking a little about it, it was nothing speical they say. Certainly it didn't have the impact of the Chinese...I prefer the Chinese, but this should lead. Wait now for lightning to strike either me or this pair...Simon and Chris wish that these two would project more...oh, sing it boys!

marks 5.5-5.7...5.5-5.8...1s across the board.

Tiffany Scott and Philip Dulebohn USA

She's in her sparkley blue halterneck thing, him in blue non-sparkley tshirt which is nonetheless most unflattering on him...her skirt is black as are his trousers....and these are the pair that confuse the beejeepers out of me because they spin the wrong way...heartbreak hotel....steps to start....toes....and they're clean....lift....nice and confident and good change of position on it....deep slide in splits from her on steps....throw 3sal good girl! around we go for the split...whic hwas fine....steps with nice unision...little twizzley things....s/s spins.....great great timing.....and she's beaming and so am I...pairs spin.....andaround for the death spiral....and they're done....and that was very very good....and I loved it. Loved it! It was the first one that for me really leapt out and grabbed you....they sparkled for this one...and I think that this was my favourite of the morning thus far....the judges will probably have it second or third...I don't think they'll take the Russians, they might take the Chinese....but I did enjoy that...

marks 4.8, then 5.1-5.6....5.1-5.7...and thye're 3rd, JPN has them 5th...a couple of seconds. Well that's what I thought!

Kyoko Ina and John Zimmerman USA

Silver flamey type dress for her, all in black for him. And doesn't he look well in it. And black leather are the trousers....not quite the look of another John in leather but not too bad (anyone who knows farscape will get that. anyone who doesn't, sorry) Pink Floyd, start by kneeling on ice...around they go, little kicky things with feet...split double twist nice and high....s/s toes...and clean...his not the best, but he held it....s/s besti squats....throw triple loop and that's clean....she goes under his legs....into the s/s spins...he travels on his, but the timing was fine....lift nice changes of position and flip out....stop at hte boards....and steps down the length of the ice....death spiral....into the pairs spin....including natalia death spin...and we're done. and that was great. Couldn't have done more said Simon, and I would have them in front of hte Russians, which is pretty much the kiss of death....and three years ago I said these two would never work....program choregraphed by Sasha Zhulin and Artur Dmitriev...she was over the toe on landing of triple loop....his landing on toe wasn't the best and that's what'll make the difference...I fully expect them to be second...

marks she has a death grip on his hand! 5.5-5.7...5.6-5.8...5/4 split and they're second! Nothing in it!

Dorota Zagorska and Mariusz Siudek POL

Dark mango dress for her, white shirt and black trousers for him, mango dicky bow undone....Simon and Chris wish them well and I'm not going to because that would signal the unleashing of forces of apocalyptic evil upon them....s/s toes to start...and she falls off the alnding on hers, and completely different timing going in..split double twist was fine....s/s spins.....timing is messy, far apart and her sit spin position is not pretty...his is as ever bad....throw triple sal and goodlord she was leaning all over that....how did she land it? sriaght line step....alarm clock rings..and they stop and get going agian....and it rings agian....death spiral....slide to stop and pose on centre ice....as we go into sing sing sing...lift....with meno sand flippy out dismount.....pairs spin takes a while to get going.....but then it does and they finish bang on the music. Not bad...but not great....and she was leaning all over hte toe as well, chris mentions that she has her right arm high going in which pushes the weight out of the circle... he questions the choreography, calls it a junior program. Simon says 5ht place and I don't think he's far wrong.

marks 4.8-5.6...5.3-5.8...4th overall.

Maria Petrova and Alexei Tikhonov RUS

She's in her white dress with the flamey patterns on the top, he's in the white shirt and the pale blue waistcoat and trousers....no matter how many times I see this outift, it doesn't grow on me...Nutcracker...they take their time...s/s toes to begin....and they're clean...good start....s/s spins....lose the timing some what...and all over hte place on the change, lots of travel.... split double twist....throw triple sal with a squeaky landing....she doens't look comfortable notes chris....lift...with their ugly dismoutn wehre she's tucked aroudn his hand.....steps...she goes under his leg....and around we go....into the death spiral....into pairs spins....and they're done. Simon says that the magic seems to be gone...he thinks .2 off for the travel on the spin....certainly I'd have this in third, if not fourth. Who is third at the moment? And she really did get that spin all wrong on the change....landing on the sal was hard work

marks 5.4-5.8...5.4-5.8...3rd overall, a couple of seconds and one first. they are 3rd, china 4th...simon thinks reputation played a part there. I know it did.

Annabelle Langlois and Patrice Archetto CAN

Nice red dress for her, same colour shirt for him and black trousers.... Gypsy Earrings the music....steps to begin, just to settle themselves...throw tirple sal very deep landing if not a touch from the free foot....very deep knee bend....split double twist...not great landing....s/s toes....and his looked to be double footed...and chris says it was udner rotated...s/s spins...not bad on the timing... into pairs spins....steps....nicesteps atthat....well done with the music...lift....looked kinda slow....into death spiral....she changes her position midway through...not bad at all says Simon...free leg I think stayed off...and his free foot stayed off on the toe and Chris says taht he had the rotation, just scrambled it in...so we were both wrong....one thing I did notice was on the s/s spins, he was between her and the judges and from the height difference, he hid her pretty well...I couldnt' really see her and I bet the judges couldn't either. Which makes me think that there might be a potential weakness in that element, and they're trying to hide it. Just speculation on my part.

marks 4.7-5.2....4.9-5.3...9th place.

Xue Shen and Hongbo Zhao CHN

Purple dress sans back, he's in tshirt that has purple shoulders, stitching, then black, with black trousers....the favourites Simon calls them and I am keeping my mouth shut. Shut I tell you! Zippygirl am I! Start back to back....throw to start...yes! huge tripel loop...so high and long....s/s toes....and they were clean too.....besti squats in slide...lift...nice and fast across the ice....steps....death spiral....s/s spins.....and we have a nice angle so I can tell you that the timing is spot on...he travels a smidgen in the change but not disastrously so....split double and the huge delay on that.....into pairs spin.....and thye're done. A champion's performance Simon calls it and that will surely surely lead....although I remember typing that in SLC, but I can't be wrong here....we see the throw again and it was enormous....big smile out of twist for her....

marks 5.7-5.9..one of each the rest 5.8s.... 5.6-5.9. and a row of ones.

Viktoria Shklover and Valdis Mintals EST

She's in another deep crimson dress, lattice work on the back, and he's all in black. And wouldn't you hate to have to follow the Chinese? Pearl Harbour Sdtk.....too many jokes.....split double twist was nicely done....throw 3sal and down she goes...ahem...don't typeit.....s/s toes and she's down again...no Jeanine, really don't type it.....she got the timing all wrong....gets it back for the spins though, s/s are nicely done. lift is nice, with flip out....pairs spins...s/s straight line steps.... slow along the ice, and we see an overhead camera angle that really shows that off....death spiral....and they're done. and oh, the poor girl...and Simon points out that the choice of music wasn't hte most appropriate given the venue...and once it's pointed out to me, I can't really argue with him....she got the timing all wrong on the toe loop...therewas no saving that....on the sal Chris thinks he threw her into the circle a little...

marks 3.4-4.0 ...4.3-4.7...straight 14s out of 16.

Ice resurface

Tatiana Chuvaeva and Dmitri Palamarchuk UKR

She's in her black dress with pink and yellow flourescent diamonds....his top is mostly black and bright pink, and I notice that his right upper arm seems to have a bandage around it....recalling as I do his free skate in Nice with Julia Obertas, that makes me nervous. She's 18 he's 22. bluesy music....s/s toes to begin....and he steps out of his....hers was ok...split doulbe twist....throw triple sal and that was nice....lift.....slow along the ice....steps....circular pattern...s/s spins....nice tming and kept it well together on the change....steps....ddeath spiral....into pairs spins....and they're done. Not bad at all....but big mistake from him on the toe...throw was really good....goodposition in the air...but she didn't look like she trusted herself on the landing...s/s spins were great,

marks 4.3-4.9....4.6-5.0...13th

Jelena Sirokhvatova and Jurijs Salmanovs LAT

All black for this pair, except for she's got a mango coloured tassle coming out of one sleeve and on the side of her dress....violiny music to begin....s/s 2ax to begin and she gets hers all wrong...short on rotation and 2f the landing....spit twist....kinda over before it began....throw triple sal and that was 2f....and badly so. s/s spins....slow as anything...and they lose the timing when they change to sit..and made travel after the cahnge foot from both of them....lift .... straight lines steps....oceans of space between them on this....death spiral....which we see from o/h angle and god it was slow...pairs spins....and they're done with her draped all over him and taht could have been dodgy at the end.... she landed forwards on the axel....chris tells us that he had deductions of .5,.. not a high tariff to begin with....

marks 3.2-3.8...andbelieve it or not, they go up in order! 3.9-4.2...16th overall.

Yuko Kawaguchi and Alexander Markuntsov JPN

She's got an orange dress on her, his top is matching orange with kind of egyptian designs on it....black trousers. both are 20, train in New York.... Aida is the music...throw triple sal, nicely done. good start....split double twist and that was nasty looking coming down....very bumpy....s/s triple toes and clean...both thought about putting hadn down but didn't....s/s spins....timing not hte best....get it better after the change foot only to lose it at the end again....lift... with meno sand swing dismount....steps, s/s.... death spiral...pairs spins....and she's all tangled up in his sleeve! could've been nasty, but it was right at the end so it didn't matter as much...and it happened right at the endof what was a very good combo spin....triple toes were synchronised right down to the lean!

marks 4.4-4.9...4.7-5.0...12th overall.

Jacinthe Lariviere and Lenny Faustino CAN

All navy for these two...not hte most flattering dress that I've ever seen in my life...throw to begin...3sal and seh made it look easy....feed is breaking up a little... split doulbe twist adn that was excellent - you could really. see how he caught her by the waist, then set her down....s/s tripel toes were ok don't know how she got around on her....timing off on s/s spins and badly - got it back then lsot it then got it back again.... aroudn they go....lift...strange looking entry but nice in the air and nice exit...steps...more steps....into the death spiral...go lower, go lower, arch your back....nearly had it....and into the pairs spins....and they're done. Split double twist was I think the best I've seen all morning...the toes...she doesn't have the height in the air and she just scratched it out...could have had the last half/quarter turn on the ice... they train at Mariposa? Well, why didn't you say so!

marks 4.8-5.3...not bad ... 4.8-5.3 - 8th overall and they're happy with that and so are the canadian fans right above K&C!

so the listing goes

Shen and Zhao

Totmianina and Marinin

Ina & Zimmerman

Petrova & Tikhonov

Pang & Tong

Zagorska & Siudek

Scott & Dulebohn

Lariviere & Faustino

Berankova & Dlabola

Zhang & Zhang

Langlois & Archetto

Marcoux and Marcotte

Kawaguchi & Markuntsov

Kautz and Jeschke

and I miss the rest