Savouring The Moments
Rating: PG, AU, meaningless fluff
Pairing: Sam/Daniel
Spoilers: Anything up to the end of season four is fair game
Disclaimer: If it was in the show, it's not mine.
Archive: At my site The Band Gazebo (helsinkibaby.ahkay.net) Anywhere else please ask first.
Summary: An email makes Sam think...
Author's Note: Someone sent me the email and the plot bunnies did the rest... for Beth on her birthday!
Sam put the phone down, so hard that the table that it was on shook. A small crystal ornament, a birthday present from Janet, came dangerously close to falling off the edge, and absently she shoved it in a few inches. She scowled at the phone, as if she could reach the person who had been at the other end, the person who had ruined her good mood. "Three full days of downtime," she muttered to herself. And nights her subconscious mind supplied. "And what do I get?" She stomped over to the table, her long skirt swishing about her ankles and blew out the candles. "Stood up. All for a stupid rock..." artefact her subconscious mind interjected, making her even more angry, "…That'll still be there when we get back."
Plates and knives and forks were put back in their place in cupboards and drawers, and the food, the meal which she'd left the base early to prepare, the meal that she'd slaved over for hours before getting herself ready, was consigned to the microwave to be heated up later. "As if it's going to keep."
Walking back into her sitting room, she looked around her, wondering how to spend her suddenly free evening. Most other people she knew had plans, although she didn't really want to go out. Besides Daniel had said he wouldn't be long. Although that usually meant he'd try to be home that side of midnight. The thought of sitting in front of the television alone didn't excite her overmuch, and there was nothing decent on tonight besides. Her gaze finally fixed on her computer. "Might as well check my mail."
She went through the motions of turning the computer on, and sat expectantly in front of the monitor, her face falling when she saw she only had one piece of mail. "Slow day," she muttered, wondering already if it was an apology from Daniel.
It wasn't but she smiled when she saw the sender's name. "Jill Denford. What are you sending me?" She and Jill had worked at the Pentagon together, back before she'd been transferred to Cheyenne Mountain and the Stargate Project. They'd hit it off from the moment they met, and still kept in touch.
The subject line of the email read Fw: Savouring the Moment - One of those mails to pass on !! but there was a personal note at the top from Jill. Sam read the words out loud, able to imagine Jill standing there in front of her. Hi Sam. I know you're busy at Cheyenne, but this is crazy! How long has it been since our last girls' night out? Although I'm sure you've got more than work keeping you busy…Sam found a blush creeping up her face - Jill knew her too well. I got this today and thought of you for some reason…follow the instructions and I'll talk to you soon!
Sam shook her head. "If this is a chain letter…" She considered not reading it, then looked at the clock again, remembering why she was reading this in the first place. Sighing, she began to read.
Take a few minutes and read these. Think about
them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one.
It does make you feel good, especially the thought at the end.
Sam took a deep breath before looking at the first sentence.
Falling in love.
Against her will, a smile came to Sam's face. When had she first begun to fall in love with Daniel? It had been a gradual thing, starting from friendship. Working together, talking with one another, the two scientists frequently ganging up on the Colonel. The late night idea swapping sessions, the shared stash of coffee. She couldn't remember when she'd begun to notice him as more than a colleague and friend, couldn't remember when she'd realised just how blue his eyes were behind his glasses, couldn't remember when she noticed just how nicely he filled out his SGC fatigues. She couldn't remember when she began to feel jealous about the blatant flirting of Janet's nurses, annoyed at how Jack used to threaten to set him up. Couldn't remember when she realised that she didn't ever want to live without him.
She could remember the look in his eyes the first time that he kissed her. The smile that came to his lips as she led him to her bedroom. The look on his face the next morning when he woke to find her beside him, staring down at him, etching the sight of him sleeping into her memory. "Morning," he'd said, his voice husky from the sleep of the night before - or was it something else? When she didn't reply, he'd continued. "What are you looking at?"
She'd reached out and ran her hand along his jaw, the sensation of the stubble there against her skin causing shivers to run up and down her spine. And she'd answered without thinking. "The man I love."
His response to that caused another blush to suffuse her cheeks, and she quickly read on to the next sentence.
Laughing so hard your face hurts.
To an outside observer of SG1, it usually seemed as if Jack O'Neill was the class clown, the one who cracked the jokes, relieved the tension, made people laugh. Very few people knew that Daniel had as keen a sense of humour as Jack -and that he was a much better mimic. The first time that he'd done his impression of Jack in front of Sam had been totally by accident. They hadn't even been dating then, but he'd been trying to get her to leave her office, luring with out with promises of Chinese food and old movies when he'd told her, "You know what Jack would say, don't you Sam?" Then, in a dead-on impression of the Colonel, he'd said "Carter, didn't I order you to get yourself a life? Daniel's here, leaving the base of his own free will and you're not gonna make sure he does? For cryin' out loud!" She'd stared at him, momentarily stunned, then laughed until tears rolled down her face. There was no-one that Daniel couldn't impersonate, although he knew that his impersonations of Jack, Teal'c and Hammond were her favourites. Although he had been known frighten her by putting on her father's voice once in a while.
A hot shower.
Anyone who went off-world on SGC teams knew the value of a hot shower. You encountered many things when you went through the Stargate, not all of them warm and welcoming. A nice hot base shower did wonders to soothe the spirits - or at least lent you enough sanity to get through the regulation debriefing without losing your mind. Nowadays though, the showers helped Sam in other ways. The first time it had happened, she'd nearly died. "Daniel, what are you doing? What if..?" He'd cut her protests off with a kiss as he slipped into the shower cubicle with her, pulling away only to whisper, "Seizing the moment Sam."
Another blush rising on her cheeks, she shook her head to clear it of that particular train of thought and looked at the next heading.
No lines at the Super Wal-Mart.
A wry chuckle escaped her lips. Most of their shopping was done in the wee small hours of the morning, when they finally dragged themselves out of the base and back to one of their homes, remembering on the way that they probably didn't have any food in the cupboards. Or at least not any food that hadn't entered a new stage of biological evolution. And while takeaway went a long way to solving that problem, milk and coffee were basic dietary staples for both of them, much to Janet's chagrin. 24 hour shopping was a wondrous development, and there had been many occasions where they'd found themselves pushing a shopping cart down deserted aisles, arguing over the merits of different cereals or potato chips, before waking the usually sleepy, or sometimes sleeping, cashier. Sam couldn't seem to make other people understand why she loved those early morning or rather late night shopping trips. A time when she and Daniel could just be themselves, without wondering if anyone from the SGC was going to walk up behind them, without having to worry about the fate of humanity, or anything more pressing than whether to buy cookies or potato chips, or just buy both and have done with it. A time when they could almost pass for normal.
A special glance.
She closed her eyes and pictured those blue eyes that she'd fallen in love with. The eyes that held the soul of the man she loved. The eyes that she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she could look into forever. No matter how bad the situation was, no matter how pissed off Hammond or Jack were, no matter what the problem with the Goa'uld was, no matter what scientific dilemma puzzled her, one glance from those blue eyes could calm her down. Stop her in her tracks, make all her troubles disappear as if they weren't there. One glance and she remembered what those eyes looked like when they were cooking dinner or working on some obscure translation, or watching Jack as he tried to explain some point of popular culture to Teal'c. Or the way they looked when they were making love. It only took one look from him to save her sanity.
Getting mail.
She smiled at that one. Ever since she'd started working with Daniel, getting mail had been a lot more interesting. Even when they were just friends, he'd developed a habit of sending her funny mails that people had sent to him, or his observations on something that had happened during the day - observations that had no place on an official report. It wasn't confined to her email either- he wasn't above using her mail slot to leave her notes or funny cartoons to make her smile. Since they'd become a couple, he'd kept that up, but every now and again, he'd write her a note that would stop her in her tracks and have her blushing, before looking around furtively and hoping that no-one would come in. Those were usually the notes that had her looking at the clock, her mathematical brain instantly converting the time into hours and minutes, exactly how long it would be until they were on their way home, until they could put into action the suggestions he had made.
Taking a drive on a pretty road.
To Sam, there was no prettier road than the one that led away from Cheyenne Mountain. Oh, she loved her job, no doubt about that. But when she and Daniel drove away from there, they left behind all their worries, all the baggage that came with being Major Carter and Doctor Jackson, and became just Sam and Daniel. They'd often talked of all the countries that they'd visited, Daniel with his parents and his studies, Sam with the Air Force. He would hold her spellbound with tales of Paris and Rome and other cities, of their famous sights and historical significance. They'd even planned a road trip through Europe, a trip they were going to take "one of these days" when their lives calmed down to normal. In the meantime, they'd made do with road trips in America, driving to as many places as they could. There was nothing Sam liked better than sitting in a car with Daniel, nothing ahead of them but miles of road, no responsibilities, no Stargate, no invading aliens to worry about. Just if they had enough gas to make it to the next town, or if the weather was going to hold. When the biggest headache they had was finding a decent song on the radio. They'd talk and laugh and sing. Or she would sleep while he drove, feeling utterly safe and content as long as she knew that he was there.
Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
It had been a couple of months since they'd begun going out when Jack had finally done what he'd been threatening to do for years. He'd taken Sam fishing. And since she refused to go anywhere without Daniel - Jack had laughed at her, teased her about suddenly not being able to live without the guy, when in reality it was more a case of "If I have to do this, so do you!"- he'd come along too. Teal'c had suddenly developed an unstoppable urge to visit Drey'auc and Rya'c in the Land of Light and so was unable to accompany them, leaving them to a weekend of fishing and Jack's complaints about being a third wheel. It had not been one of the most fun weekends of their lives, but the thing that Sam remembered was the morning that they left. The previous day had been overcast, dull, but in the middle of the night, it had started to rain. Sam had been woken by the drumming of the rain against the window. She was lying on her side, Daniel behind her, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She knew that Jack was sleeping on the couch in the living room - he'd let them have the only bedroom, insisting every night that he didn't mind sleeping on the couch while complaining every day about his sore back. But right then, it was as if there was nothing else in the world except for the sound of the rain falling on the windowpane, and Daniel's arms wrapped around her. She'd lain awake purposely, fighting off sleep, just impressing every feeling, every emotion that she was experiencing into her memory.
Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
That one called to mind another moment from that particular trip. While Jack's cabin was pretty much out in the middle of nowhere, there was a small town nearby, with a fairly decent restaurant. The plan had been to fish for their supper, but Jack severely underestimated their abilities. What they caught might have been enough for supper for one, or even two, had Daniel not developed a crisis of conscience and decided to throw the fish back into the lake. Jack had nearly thrown him into the lake after them, but had restrained. Thus, they'd driven to the restaurant for their evening meals, where Sam and Daniel were amused at the warm welcome Jack got there. Evidently, it wasn't the first time that he had frequented the place. The last night that they were there, Jack excused himself to pay the bill, leaving Sam and Daniel alone at the table. The radio had been playing softly in the background, when a familiar tune began to play. Sam sat up straight when she heard it; Jacob was a huge Bob Dylan fan, and Sam had grown up learning his songs. "I love this song," she told Daniel now, but his next comment surprised her. "Dance with me." He was already standing up, hand extended. She'd looked at him, and around her, not seeing a dance floor anywhere. She pointed that out to him, was rewarded with a smile. "So?" Laughing, she stood up as he took her in his arms. One hand rested lightly on her back, as one of hers did on his, their others hands were clasped tightly together over his heart as they swayed to the music.
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When evening shadows and stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't see nothin like me yet
There ain't nothin that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love
When the music had stopped, they'd received a round of applause from the surrounding tables, who had watched them, smiling indulgently at the happy couple. Sam had ducked her head, knowing that the red on Daniel's cheeks was more than matched on her own, and she'd grown even redder when she saw the look on Jack's face. She expected to catch hell for that; Jack was forever teasing her and Daniel about their relationship. But he hadn't said anything, just driven back to his place, that same small smile on his face. She'd known then that he was truly happy for them.
A good conversation.
Conversation was something that she and Daniel never had to worry about. The first time they'd met on Abydos, they'd connected instantly, sparking ideas off each other, coming up with the explanation as to what the cartouche showed. That was the first time that they'd worked together to come up with a solution, but it was far from the last. She and Daniel seemed to have an innate ability to know what the other was thinking, to jump ahead to the next logical stage when the previous stage hadn't even been completed. It had saved the team more times than she could remember over the past few years. Nor was this just confined to the SGC - Daniel had become her best friend, her confidante, one of the few people that she knew she was able to trust completely. And she knew that he felt the same way about her. It was a good foundation for their new relationship. Long evenings and nights spent together, talking, about everything and nothing, before turning in for the night. Days off were spent together, again just talking, listening to each other, each enjoying what the other had to say. A lot of the time they agreed from a scientific point of view, it was when she approached things from a military standpoint that things tended to get interesting.
The beach.
The beach. The Goa'uld Pleasure Palace. The addiction that had nearly cost her Daniel. She still shuddered as she thought of the way he had looked when Jack had brought him back to the base, of the look on Jack's face when he'd told them how he'd found Daniel standing on the edge of his balcony, just minutes away from jumping. Not for the first time, she'd faced the fear of losing him then. And not for the first time, she realised that she didn't like it. When the mission was over, they'd had three weeks in close quarters. Three weeks to talk, to take walks along the beach while Loran showed Jack the delights of fishing in the sea. She'd spent her time exploring the building, Daniel at her side, figuring out all there was to know. When they'd tired of being cooped up, the beach had been their escape, their refuge. How many nights had they sat there watching the sunset in easy silence, following conversation that had lasted for hours?
Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
How many times had she been lying in bed, unable to sleep, her mind racing from the latest brush with death, the latest disaster averted? And how many times, when her mind was whirring and she felt as if insanity were only minutes away, had her phone suddenly, miraculously, begun to ring? She'd pick it up with a smile on her face, answering politely for courtesy, just in case it wasn't him, but knowing against all reason that it was. They'd talk about everything, from the mission that they'd just come from, to ideas they'd had, to television shows that were on at that hour of the morning. It was amazing the deep insights you got into "Full House" reruns at three o'clock in the morning when watching them simultaneously and discussing them over the phone line. When they'd begun dating, or whatever you wanted to call it, on the rare nights they'd spent apart, she'd lain awake, wishing that he was there, wondering what he was doing, what he was thinking. And sure enough, the phone would inevitably ring. Again, she knew who it was going to be, and she'd pick it up, smiling when she heard his voice on the other end. "Daniel," she'd chide him gently, "We're supposed to be spending some time away from each other." Occasionally he'd grumble good-naturedly on the other end of the phone. "Well…that sucks." She'd laugh then, say he was spending too much time with Cassie. More often that not, he'd put on his best winsome pleading voice. "But I miss you." More entreaties on that line would invariably follow, and more often than not, by the time the phone was put down, he was either on his way to her place, or she was on her way to his.
Hot chocolate.
They'd been at Daniel's place, it being his turn to play host for hockey night. Sam really hadn't wanted to go - it was just after the whole Zatarc incident, and she'd much rather have curled up at home and slept. But Daniel had put on his best pleading voice, telling her that she was the voice of reason in the face of Jack's enthusiasm. Not only that, but he'd got Janet in on the act as well, convincing her that it was the best thing for Sam to get out and have some fun with her friends. Janet had dutifully got Sam there, and she'd even had quite a good time. Until, that was, she was woken up by a door closing. She'd sat up and looked around, realising as she did so that she wasn't in Daniel's sitting room anymore. Instead she was in his bedroom. She shook her head as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, realising what had happened.
"Oh hi," Daniel said as he turned from the kitchen counter and saw her standing there. "Are you ok?"
She'd nodded. "Is everyone gone?"
"Yep…" Daniel looked towards the clock. "You've been out for nearly two hours…"
"You should have woken me." Her tone was petulant, even to her own ears.
Daniel turned away from her, busying himself with the kettle. "Hot chocolate?" he asked, making her a cup without waiting for her answer. "I know you haven't been sleeping well lately…" Since Martouf were his unspoken words. "So when I saw you out like a light on the couch, I got Teal'c to carry you to my room. I thought it'd be more comfortable than being all squished up on the couch."
She'd looked down at the floor, scrubbing an imaginary spot with her toe, touched by his concern, but not wanting to show it. "Thank you," she said quietly.
"It's no problem," he shrugged. "You know you can talk to me," he'd added, as he handed her the cup of hot chocolate.
She'd chuckled softly when she saw the cup, a hideous ceramic thing in the shape of Tutankhamun that she'd given him as a gag gift at Christmas. "I'm fine Daniel," she'd told him automatically.
He'd sipped from his own cup, looking at her thoughtfully. "If you say so."
"Why wouldn't I be?"
Her tone had been flip, but he'd given her a look that let her know he wasn't going to let her away with that. "Sam, you're not sleeping properly. You're barely eating. You've hardly said two sentences to anyone since it happened...Sam, you haven't even mentioned his name."
"Daniel…" The word was a warning, her hand trembling, her voice dangerously close to tears, tears that she'd kept back for too long.
As if seeing her weaken, he'd stepped closer to her, leaving his own cup on the counter. "Sam, you're my friend," he'd told her gently. "And I'm worried about you…you can't bottle things up like this…it's not good for you." She had stared straight ahead, unable to look at him. He'd tried another tack with her. "Martouf wouldn't have wanted this for you…"
It was, she'd tell him later, the mention of his name that finally broke her. The shaking that had started only seconds before became so severe that the cup fell from her grasp, and she stifled a scream as the contents splashed on her hand. Seeing the tell-tale redness creep across her flesh, Daniel propelled her across the room, running cold water on it, muttering platitudes to soothe her as if she was a small child. She hadn't spoken, just turned her head, looking at the shards of the mug littering the floor. "I broke your mug," she told him softly, tears running down her cheeks.
"Oh Sam, don't worry about that." He was still holding her hand under the water, his touch as gentle as his voice.
"But it was a present…and now look at it, it's ruined…and it's all my fault….I'm the one who did it….I didn't mean to Daniel, honestly I didn't…I didn't want to do it…." She'd stared up at him, begging for forgiveness that wasn't his to give.
"Oh Sam…" His arms had gone around her as she clutched his shirt and she'd sagged against him.
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" Her words became more and more incoherent as she sank to the floor, bringing him with her, as his hands stroked her hair and he whispered words of comfort that he wasn't even sure she could hear.
She didn't know how long they stayed like that before she calmed down, didn't know how long they stayed like that once she had. Didn't know how long it took before he helped her to her feet, and without a word led her to his bedroom again. Turning down the bed, he didn't say a word as she got in. He turned when he got to the door, giving her a half smile as he went out and she pulled the blankets closer to her.
That night, for the first time since it had happened, she slept without nightmares.
Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
She was a soldier, a warrior. She never considered herself as someone who was overtly concerned about how she looked, about how others thought of her. When they were on Simarka and she'd had to dress herself up in that blue sparkly spangley get-up, well, she'd never been so embarrassed in her life. She'd considered killing Daniel for agreeing that she should follow the customs of the tribe, and the impulse has only strengthened when she'd seen how the men were gawping at her. She'd made fun of the kid impulsively, saying that he mustn't get out much, while purposefully ignoring that fact that both Jack and Daniel's jaws had hit the floor when they saw her. Martouf had told her that she was beautiful. So had Narim. But she'd never really believed it. She'd never really felt beautiful until she saw herself through Daniel's eyes. Not that he told her all the time - it was rare enough that she remembered every time he said it, and especially the first time. They were on a mission, and somehow, she couldn't quite remember how, they all ended up covered from head to foot in mud. They'd cleaned off, and out of earshot of Jack and Teal'c, Daniel had teased her, placing a spot of mud on the tip of her just-cleaned nose. "Daniel!" She hadn't understood why he'd done that, and he'd shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "Well…you looked cute like that." "Cute? I'm cute when I'm covered in mud?" She'd been quite affronted until he pulled himself out of the fire with, "Yeah…but you're always beautiful."
Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
She'd been heading to Daniel's lab, lost in her own thoughts. They were going to see a movie, go out to dinner, spend a nice quiet evening together, like normal couples did. She hadn't meant to overhear what they were talking about. Hadn't known that they would be having a deep and meaningful conversation on the base, where anyone could walk in. Certainly hadn't known that the deep and meaningful conversation would be about her. She'd stopped outside, where they couldn't see her, when she'd heard Jack's voice. "You sure about this Daniel?"
She recognised exasperation in Daniel's voice, knew without seeing the expression that was on his face, knew how his arms were waving around. "I'm sure Jack. I don't even know why we're arguing in circles like this."
"I just want to make sure that you know what you're getting into."
"Don’t you think we've talked about this? Agonised about it? Do you think we just jumped into this lightly? How little do you think of us?"
"It's not like that Daniel. You know that. But you could be ruining your career…and Carter's. Is that what you want?"
"If that's what it takes."
Silence. When Jack finally figured out something to say, his words were slow, measured. As if he wanted to be sure that he was getting his facts right. "You're serious about this."
"Don't you get it Jack? My life…my career….what we've been doing these past few years…without her, it's nothing. And I'd give up all this for her in an instant. I wouldn't even have to think."
Again, there was a long pause before Jack replied. "You're a lucky man Daniel."
Sam was walking away, but she paused when she heard Daniel's reply, before going on her way again. "I know."
Waking up and realising you still have a few hours left to sleep.
Even when she was a teenager, Sam had never been one to guard her sleeping time jealously. Once she woke up, she got up, even on weekends. Since Daniel though, she'd discovered the pleasure of waking up on time, or early on mornings when the alarm wasn't set, or when she didn't have to be on the base until late. Instead of following her normal routine of getting up, doing housework, or catching up on reading or email, she turned around and snuggled up closer against Daniel, wrapping the bedclothes tighter around them. Some mornings, he would automatically move closer to her as well, holding her tighter and comforted by the warmth of his arms, the gentle tickle of his breath on her cheek, she would drift back to sleep. Other mornings, she might be a little bit more insistent than she usually would be, gently waking him from his sleep too. On mornings like that, he would open his eyes and squint at the clock, then back to her face, reading the look in her eyes perfectly. On mornings like that, they would find other ways to keep the morning at bay.
Having someone play with your hair.
Every so often, they would be sitting side by side, looking at a movie, or a hockey game at Jack's, or doing some other trivial thing. She'd be concentrating on the task at hand when suddenly, she'd become aware of his hand, moving through her hair, playing with the fine strands at the nape of her neck. She would close her eyes and lean into his touch, not needing to say anything, content to just revel in the sensation. It was the surest way he knew to get her attention. He'd even done it on the base sometimes, when she was deep in thought or research. She'd had to warn him against it actually, because most of the time, she'd end up wrapped in his arms, kissing him breathless, and that was not the way to keep their relationship under wraps. Not that that was a major concern, most people knew anyway, but it didn't do to draw public scrutiny if they could help it. In private though, it was a very different matter.
Swinging on swings.
Swings always made her think of Cassandra, and of the relief that they'd all felt when that whole ordeal had been over, when they knew that she was going to be fine. They'd all gone to the park, and she and Daniel had swung the little girl between them, with Daniel complaining that the girl was getting too heavy to be doing this. Had it been then, she wondered, that she'd begun to see Daniel as more than a good friend? He'd been there for her, seemingly every time she turned around, offering her a friendly ear, a literal shoulder to cry on. She'd been so embarrassed when he'd caught her crying, afraid that he'd think less of her. She should have known that Daniel wouldn't react like that. Ever since then, he'd been her rock, her confidante. No matter what she said to him, no matter how she acted, he was always there for her. Cassie had stayed with them on numerous occasions, they'd done fun, family type stuff together, like swinging on swings. Sometimes, for a moment, Sam would forget that they weren't a family, that Cassie wasn't her daughter, that Daniel wasn't her husband. Those thoughts used to make her pause, because deep down, she was afraid of losing Daniel, afraid of something going wrong.
She didn't worry about that anymore.
Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
Well…did shop-bought homemade cookies count? Daniel couldn't bake to save himself, although it was something that Sam quite enjoyed. But Daniel loved his chocolate walnut cookies, and he'd made her love them too. It had been a running thing between them, ever since Sha're died. In the visions that Daniel had had, there had been one of Sam, visiting him in sickbay, offering him a bag of his favourite cookies as comfort. And when they had their memories wiped on the underground mining colony he'd given her his piece of bread one day. They'd laughed when they'd returned home; he'd told her that he hadn't been able to find a cookie, so he'd made do with what he had. She remembered when she was working hard on a way to get Jack back from Edora, the three months when she'd sequestered herself in the lab, when she was so tired she could barely stand up straight. She'd snapped her pencil and yanked open her drawer to get another one. Lying there, on top of all her papers, was a package of those cookies. And she'd dropped her head onto her desk and cried for the first time in all those weeks, partly because she was tired. Partly because she was moved that Daniel was looking out for her. And partly because, as much as she missed Jack, as much as she didn't want to lose him, she just thanked God that it wasn't Daniel stuck there.
Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking eggnog.
Christmas was one of her favourite holidays, always had been. Sam had always been the one in her family who was in charge of organising the holiday festivities, but she'd more than met her match with Daniel. He was one of those people who began planning Christmas right after Labour Day, and wanted to put the tree up the day after Thanksgiving. Left up to him, the tree would stay up until it literally died, pine needles spreading all across his floor. "But it has to be a real tree Sam," he'd insisted. They'd done their Christmas shopping together, spending hours going around different shops, concentrating on finding the perfect present for everyone. Then they'd gone home to wrap all the presents together, tape and wrapping paper and ribbon flying every which way. Christmas Eve had been spent together, alone, at Daniel's place. They'd had a quiet dinner, which they'd cooked together rather than ordered in, then watched "It's A Wonderful Life," by the light of the Christmas tree. Daniel had played Christmas carols on the piano until midnight, then they'd exchanged gifts. Christmas Day had been spent at Janet's, where all of SG1 gathered, for their own "family" Christmas. It had been a good day, full of laughter and smiles.
Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
She remembered the first time she'd met Daniel. Coming through the Gate for the first time had been such an amazing experience for her - to actually experience the technology she'd studied for over two years had literally blown her mind. She was barely aware of the chatter of the Abydonians when they arrived, too busy staring at the DHD, the missing piece of technology on Earth. She'd only snapped back to reality when the Colonel had called her sharply, ever the good little soldier she was, and meeting the gaze of Daniel Jackson had pulled her back even more quickly. She remembered thinking that this couldn't be Daniel Jackson. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but someone who looked like that wasn't it. And those eyes…one look and she'd fallen. She knew that now of course. Back then, Sha're had made a hasty appearance, and wasted no time in marking her territory, never straying far from Daniel, laying a kiss on him that had made him forget who where and what he was. If someone had told her then what would happen over the next few years….
Making chocolate chip cookies.
There were a lot of Earth customs that Cassandra had never experienced, and one of them, much to Daniel's scandalised amazement, was cookies. He instantly set about closing that particular gap in her education, and enlisted Sam's help. One of the first things that Sam had done when Cassandra stayed over with her was show her how to make chocolate chip cookies, the way her own mom had shown her when she was a kid. Daniel had insisted on being their taste tester, and ever since, every time Cassie had stayed over at Sam's, she'd insisted on making cookies, and making some extra for Daniel. Sam often wondered if Cassie had known something that they hadn't. It certainly wouldn't surprise her.
Holding hands with someone you care about.
Every so often, she'd find herself watching him when he was at work, scribbling some incomprehensible dialect on a page or flicking through the pages of a book, looking for some obscure reference. And she'd find herself paying attention to his hands. Hands that were strong but gentle, firm but kind. Hands that she wanted to touch her skin, wanted to know how they would feel, never dreaming just how good they would feel. But much as she loved feeling those hands running across her body, something as simple as holding hands meant almost as much to her. The first time they'd actually walked down the street and he'd taken her hand, she'd had to fight hard to keep a silly grin from spreading across her face. For people who were used to facing disaster, for people who were used to keeping themselves to themselves, and keeping their relationship a secret, that first public declaration that they were together was a special memory. She loved holding his hand, loved how warm and secure it felt. Loved how it made her feel, like they were connected, bonded somehow. It made her feel stronger, as if she could do anything. Somehow, it made everything just that little bit better, no matter the problem.
Watching the sunrise.
The first time they'd spent the night together at his place, Sam had woken the next morning to find the space beside her empty and cold. Daniel had obviously been gone for a while, but it still wasn't quite light outside. Frowning, Sam slipped on Daniel's robe and went looking for him. When she stepped out of the bedroom, she was surprised to see him on the balcony, in a T-shirt and sweatpants, feet bare. "Hey," she said, slipping her arms around him from behind, resting her head against his back. He didn't say anything, just rested his hands across hers for a moment, before drawing her around in front of him, wrapping his arms around her waist, pressing her against him, his cheek against hers. "What are we doing?" she asked, curious.
"Just watch."
Sam did as she was told, just stared straight ahead like Daniel, half her mind on the view of the just-waking city, the other on how nice it felt to be held like this. She snapped back to reality when his grip on her tightened momentarily and she gasped at the sight before her. Behind the streets of the city and the skyscrapers, the sky, previously a bluish grey colour, was changing, into a riot of reds and pinks and yellows and oranges as the sun, this morning a red sphere, peeked over the horizon. Sam and Daniel watched in awe as it continued its ascent, neither speaking. When the sun was high in the sky, Daniel kissed her cheek. "When I was little," he finally spoke, "My mom and dad tried to take me with them whenever they could. But of course, sometimes, it wasn't quite convenient. And I used to beg them to take me with them. But they wouldn't. So my mom made me a promise. She gave me an alarm clock…it had a picture of the pyramids on it. And she found out what times the sun rose on the days they would be gone. And she would tell me to go and look at the sunrise every morning. And that wherever they were, she and my dad would do the same thing. And that way, it'd be like we were together. Ever since, every now and then…I still do. When I need to feel close to them"
Sam turned in his arms. She'd seen that clock in his apartment. By the look of it, it had ceased functioning years ago, and she'd never quite been able to fathom why he kept it. Not until now. "When I was on Abydos, I used to do the same thing…get up to look at the sunrise. Even though, of course, it wasn't the same sun. I would imagine them looking down on me, seeing what I was doing with my life. Hope they were proud of me."
"They would have been Daniel."
He smiled as he met her gaze, lowering his head to drop a kiss on her forehead. "I wish you could've met them Sam. You would've loved them."
Sam smiled, swallowing against sudden tears that were clogging up her throat. "Of course I would have," she managed finally, as she buried her head in his shoulder. "Look at their son."
Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much-desired present from you.
She'd surprised him last week, arriving home before him. He'd brought the food home with him, and they'd taken their time eating, talking about everything and nothing, enjoying the time they had together. His face had grown curious when she'd taken out the brightly wrapped box, and surprise and delight warred with his curiosity. "What's this for?" he'd asked suspiciously, pulling open the ribbon. He hadn't seen her face as he opened it, the doubtful look in her eyes, her teeth chewing nervously on her lower lip as she observed him. There was no ripping of the paper for Daniel; he pried the sticky tape off carefully, smoothing it away from the paper, revealing a small white box. He'd looked up at her briefly before lifting the lid, and when he did, he couldn't stop his jaw dropping open. Nestled on a bed of velvet were the smallest pair of white satin baby bootees he'd ever seen, trimmed with lace. He'd stared at them, not touching them, for what seemed like forever before he'd looked at her, eyes wide. Her own eyes were just as wide as she stared back at him, trying to judge his reaction. He finally found his voice. "Sam?" His face and tone spoke volumes to her, and all she could do was nod dumbly at him. He'd turned away from her, placing the box carefully on the table. Then he'd turned to her and enveloped her in the biggest hug she'd ever had. He'd held onto her tightly, not saying a word. It was only when she felt the first drops of wet hitting her shoulder that she realised he was crying.
Sitting at the computer, Sam smiled to herself, her hand automatically going to her abdomen, to the non-existent bump that Daniel swore he could see. They hadn't told anyone yet, she had even gone to a different doctor to get the pregnancy confirmed - Janet was going to love that, although she had a feeling that all would be forgiven in the long run. They were just getting used to the idea themselves, although Sam was surprised that no-one had noticed anything. Daniel had been walking on air ever since he'd heard. It had been a surprise, but a welcome one, and she knew already that Daniel was going to be a great father.
She was pulled from her thoughts by the door opening, and her gaze flickered in surprise to the clock at the bottom of the screen.
"It's me," a voice called out, as if she were expecting someone else.
"You're early." She stood up from the computer, automatically shutting it down as she did so.
Daniel was already at her side, arms going around her, kissing her cheek. "Well…when you hung up the phone, I realised you were right. The base'll still be there in a couple of days." He nuzzled her neck. "Are you still mad at me?"
Sam closed her eyes, arching her neck to give him better access. "I'm over it," she grinned.
He pulled away from her, his brow furrowed. "That was fast…are you sure you're not mad?"
"Nope."
"Ooooo-kay then…" Daniel was still mystified, but he had a smiling Sam in his arms, so he wasn't exactly complaining. "So…what's the plan for tonight?"
Sam smiled at him. "Well…dinner's in the microwave…."
"Dinner sounds good…."
"Or we can skip dinner…."
"That…also sounds good…" Daniel was still regarding her strangely. "Are you sure you're not mad at me Sam?"
"I'm sure…" She sighed, knowing he wouldn't quit until he got the truth from her. "I got an email from Jill…"
"Jill from the Pentagon Jill?"
She nodded. "It was all about how important it is to savour the moment…to take pleasure in the little things. And it got me thinking about you and me and us….and we're here, and we're together…"
Daniel's hand wandered to her abdomen, the look of wonder that was becoming so familiar to her coming over his face. "All three of us…"
"And I just want to enjoy that…you know?"
"Well then…" Daniel's arm slipped around her waist and he looked towards the kitchen. "Why don't we crank up that microwave…see if we can't savour the moment a bit longer…"
So they did.