Rating: PG
Pairing: Ellie/Wesley
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing.
Archive: At my site, The Band Gazebo (http://helsinkibaby.ahkay.net)
Summary: She's all out of choices.
Author's Note: Once again, blaming Heidi. This was written for the livejournal Writer's Choice group - http://www.livejournal.com/community/writers_choice/ - the theme was "Choice".

It's ironic she thinks, that for a well-educated 21st Century woman, the President's daughter yet, who's always believed in a woman's right to choose, that she should have no choice at all.

But when she holds the bloodwork in her hand telling her that Emily Barrington is indeed pregnant, she knows exactly what she has to do, and choice doesn't come into the matter.

She goes straight into autopilot, making the arrangements that need to be made, and everyone involved in the hospital assures her privacy.

Telling the Secret Service is another thing entirely, and she waits until that night when Molly, her second-favourite agent, is securing her apartment. She knows that she's shocking her, both with the news and her decision and she gives her the same reason she gave at the hospital.

Not her age, the fact that she's single and studying to be a doctor, though those are all valid reasons. But the fact that if this gets out, it's not just about her. It becomes a red-hot political issue that could cause all kinds of problems for her father's administration.

She doesn't tell her that it could also cause all kinds of problems for the baby's father, not least of which would be the end of his career.

Because he's a Secret Service Agent and she's the President's daughter, and they both knew better.

But they'd chosen to let the attraction get the better of them and they'd held hands in movie theatres and she'd kissed him in her apartment and she'd cried when he'd been transferred back to Washington. He'd requested it after one of their long talks, and she'd agreed with the reasons, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

In the time since, she'd dated other men, but they'd never made her feel like he had, and there were times when she'd seen him from afar, had seen him looking at her, and she'd known that he was feeling the same way she was.

She'd chosen to go to Camp David for a family Thanksgiving, hoping he'd be there, and it had been there, in a deserted cabin, that they'd made love for the first and only time.

They'd made those choices and now she has none left, because she knows she has to protect the two most important men in her life, no matter the price to her.

She wonders how she can explain this to Molly, but then she sees the confusion on the other woman's face give way to clarity, and when Molly asks slowly, cautiously, for confirmation that she shouldn't mention this to Wesley, Ellie doesn't tell her that she's wrong.

The tears in her eyes tell her she's right though.

So the next day Emily Barrington checks into the hospital when Molly and Brian bring Ellie to work. The procedure is carried out by friends of hers who would cut their tongues out before they'd leak this to the press, and when she wakes in the darkened recovery room, Molly is right by her side. When Emily Barrington checks herself out AMA, Ellie is lying down in one of the on call rooms, trying to sleep, telling people who open the door and see her there that they really should be careful with the leftover Chinese food in their fridge.

By the time they bring her out the back way, she's used to Molly's concerned look. It's only when she sees every scrap of colour leech out of Brian's face that she realises she must really look as bad as she feels, if not worse. She can't muster up the energy to say something to him though, so she just slides into the back seat and closes her eyes, hears Molly tell him to drive.

She doesn't open her eyes until the car stops, and by then she's so tired that Molly all but carries her into the apartment. She heads straight for the bedroom, throwing her jacket to the ground as she walks, Molly going ahead of her, lifting the covers off the bed and telling her to sit. She feels like a child as Molly helps her off with her shoes, helps her into a lying position, tucks the blankets snugly around her. She whispers goodnight, holding her pillow to her tightly, keeping a rein on her emotions as she listens to the familiar sounds of the other woman securing the premises for the night.

It's only when she he hears the front door click shut and she knows she's alone that she allows herself to cry, for the choices she made and the ones she didn't have, and the price of both.